I hate my body.
I’m fat, seriously overweight even. As I write this, I’m 138kg (2kg down already) which is considered bad unless I’m a bodybuilder, which I’m not! My BMI is high, in the 40s. I’m at risk for all kinds of diabetes (which I have a bloody blood test every year for), heart disease, not to mention the varicose veins I’ve had the last year or so, and now a sodding leg ulcer. Fuck.
I’m writing this having been to the doctor today about the leg ulcer, and being told that I HAVE to lose weight. I have been trying believe me.
Five years ago, it was a similar story, although not quite so many health risks. I was 151kg when we lost Melody, having been living off takeaways and pies and such for the five weeks whilst she was in hospital. Afterwards, not only did I finally start learning to drive (didn’t want to depend on others), I resolved to lose the weight.
When Kelsi was born a year later, I was 113kg! But then I started to feel guilty about losing the weight, exercising and such, when my wife Julz struggled with the pregnancy and the baby after she was born, and she couldn’t do the same. So it fell by the wayside, and after a while I fell into bad habits, coming home from work and stuffing my face with anything I could get my hands on.
So here I am, 2017, and it’s nearly our youngest’s 2nd birthday.
I HAVE to lose weight.
Not only the health concerns, but I hate my body, hate the fact that it’s so hard to find decent clothes in my size, and hate the fat jokes at work. It’s a vicious cycle, I get low and I eat, and then I get ow again because I’m eating, and because I’m having the piss ripped out of me, so I eat for comfort again. Joy.
Previously, I started a scrapbook, a fitness book if you like with clippings from magazines, printouts from the internet, even random scribblings of my own. In it are recipes, exercises, even inspirations such as Stephen Amell, Chris Pratt, and Hugh Jackman. Also, I’ve started learning about the science behind it all, and actually quite enjoying that aspect.
It’s to help remind me and push me to keep going with the exercise and diet.
I’ve started following Joe Wicks’ YouTube channel, The Bodycoach TV, where he posts tonnes of free videos, mostly exercise vids. I’ve started one in particular daily, and then adding more each time. So far, I’m up to the video (20 minutes), 10 minutes of shadow boxing, plus a few minutes of weights and then 5 minutes of dancing like nobody can see me (cool down). I read Men’s Fitness Magazine and follow the Darebees website as well as the social media accounts to inspire me, and to learn the science as well.
I’ll try to update this post each week as I weigh/measure.
Hopefully, it’ll work.
If you see me with a cake, coke, or something other than a salad, whack it out of my hand, and tell me to get some push-ups in, or squats, or jog on the spot!
Here’s hoping I’ll end up looking like these guys:
And of course, my biggest inspiration, my wife Julz, my goddess:
*Click on the pictures above to link to their amazing social media presences (including Julz).
UPDATE 19/05/17: 138.2 kg, haven’t measured, but down 0.9kg from last week (according to myfitnesspal)